{"id":13440,"date":"2022-10-17T05:21:41","date_gmt":"2022-10-17T10:21:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gbfamilylaw.com\/?page_id=13440"},"modified":"2022-11-05T14:10:02","modified_gmt":"2022-11-05T19:10:02","slug":"helping-a-child-cope-with-divorce-and-separation","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/gbfamilylaw.com\/helping-a-child-cope-with-divorce-and-separation\/","title":{"rendered":"Helping a Child Cope With Divorce and Separation"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By: Katie Flowers Samler<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n

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Divorce isn’t easy, although it can be the right decision for a couple and even for a family. Parents going through a divorce typically worry about the impact it will have on their children. It’s normal for children to experience and express many emotions when their parents\u2019 divorce. Anger, sadness, confusion, and guilt are all normal reactions. Children also worry about their parents and what will happen to them. Parents can mitigate the impact divorce has on their children’s<\/a> well-being by being prepared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Should We Tell Our Children About Our Separation\/Divorce?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Every child and situation is unique and it is important to have a plan when telling children about their parents\u2019 divorce\/separation. In many circumstances, it is beneficial for parents to tell children together about their divorce or separation and to appear as a unified front that the parents both very much love their children and are making the choice together to divorce\/separate. If the child sees a therapist, it is wise for parents to consult with the child\u2019s therapist before telling their child about the divorce\/separation and obtain tips from the therapist for how to best approach the situation with their child. Even if the child does not see a therapist, many parents find it helpful to consult with a mental health professional for tips in telling their children about a divorce\/separation.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, younger children do not need as much information as older children. Children of all ages will have questions, and all kids need reassurance that they are not the cause of the family breakdown and that both parents love them very much. If a plan for the children\u2019s schedule has been agreed to and\/or court-ordered, creating a calendar with the children\u2019s schedule of days they will be at each parent\u2019s home may be helpful to provide the children some clarity on their new normal. Children should also be reassured that it is safe for them to share their feelings. It is wise to let children know that there are other trusted adults they can talk with, like their parents, another family member, a therapist, or a school counselor. Make sure everything the children are told is age-appropriate and maintains good boundaries. No child needs to hear the details behind the deterioration of their parents’ relationship.  From a legal perspective, it is also important to understand any limitations you may have in communicating about the divorce\/separation with the child (i.e. are there Standing Orders or other orders in place that restrict what they can and cannot discuss with their children).<\/p>\n\n\n\n